Padmashree Koneti: Culture Shock and Confidence
On this episode of Humanizing Tech, Padmashree Koneti (she/her) joins us to discuss her experience with identity assimilation as a first-generation immigrant. As the VP of Product Management of Tableau and vocal advocate of DEI, Padmashree brings a wealth of skills and knowledge to the tech industry.
She defines the model minority myth in her own words, how it shapes the obstacles she overcame, and her hopefulness for future generations entering their careers today. Tune in for some career path inspiration like tips for tackling imposter syndrome, how to turn it into a strength, and why asking “why?” got her where she is today.
Transcript
Intro:
Welcome to Humanizing Tech, a PDXWIT podcast. We interview people to dig below the surface of their achievements and challenges showcasing the story behind the story. We believe that focusing on the person and humanizing their lived experiences will help shape the future of tech.
Anusha Neelam:
Before we get started, I want to acknowledge the land we're on wherever we're tuning in from. PDXWIT recognizes the ongoing violence, trauma and erasure indigenous Oregonians and Native Americans face. We are recording from Portland today. Portland rests on traditional village sites of the Multnomah, Cathlamet, Clackamas, Chinook, Tualatin, Kalapuya, Molalla and many other tribes who made their homes along the Columbia river. We endeavor to have this acknowledgement be more than just words. The tech industry is building the future of our world, and it is up to us to ensure that it is a future for all. To find out more about how we're supporting the future of indigenous Oregonians and native Americans, please visit our website, we'll add a link in the show notes as well. Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of humanizing tech. This is your co-host Anusha Neelam, she her. This is actually my first episode that I'm recording this season, so I'm thrilled to be back. And I'll be hosting this one solo, but I'm just super stoked. We've got an amazing guest who has quite a story to share. So I am really looking forward to hearing it. So without further ado, I wanna introduce our guest today, who is none other than PDXWIT board co-chair and VP of product at Tableau - Padmashree Koneti! Welcome Padmashree. We're so excited to have you here.
Padmashree Koneti:
Yeah, I'm really excited to be here as well. I've watched this podcast grow in the last, what year? Couple years? And yeah, really honored to be here, to be a part of it.
AN:
Yeah. And I know that you've been involved in PDXWIT in many different ways for quite some time. And so I'm just really excited for our listeners to get an opportunity to hear about your incredible journey and all your experiences. And we'll definitely be diving into that quite a bit here. In just a little bit, but before we get started, I wanted to do something a little bit fun just to open it up. I'm a pretty big reader. And from talking to you a little bit, it sounds like you are as well. And I always like to ask people what they're currently reading. I have more books to add to my list. That's like never ending and it's just fun. So what are you currently reading?
PK:
Oh gosh. I have a few sort of parallel tracks. I'm also terrible at this. I think there should be… I think there is a technical term for people who hoard books without any foreseeable plan to read them all, but I just love it. I typically tend to read books that are important for me work-wise in parallel with books that I enjoy for my own personal space. It's both. For my book club, I'm reading a book called Yellow Bird which is a story of, oh anyway, I won't get into it, but it's called Yellow Bird. I'm also reading… I just finished James Clear's Atomic Habits - trying to build some better habits, break a few old gnarly ones. And so that's something I just finished as well. I'm trying to put some of it in practice.
AN:
That's awesome. Which one of those do you like better? Like, do you like the one that you're reading for a book club better?
PK:
Oh no, I think they just, they both exercise a different set of muscles. I've got this big stack of workbooks over here. I need to pick up this next one on working backwards and building good plans, set to the workplace and such. I enjoy both. They flex a different muscle. Obviously the more fiction oriented book club kind of books tend to be more entertainment focused and I get really sucked into the book and it's really fantastic. But then I also love self-improvement and sort of getting better, both in my personal journey and also professionally. And so they just flex different parts of my brain.
AN:
Yeah, no, I totally understand you there, I'm one of those people that's always like reading two or three books like at once [laugh] and then I pick up the one, depending on my mood, whichever, whatever I'm feeling, I'll just pick that one up that day and then I'll set it back, read a different one and yeah, I'm kind of all over the place.
PK:
[laughs] We sound similar.
AN:
[Laugh] Yeah. My favorite right now, though, that I'm reading is called Nothing I Imagined. It's a collection of short essays or stories, whatever you wanna call it. It's by Mindy Kaling. And I love her as a creator and a writer, but I love this one. She's written a couple of different books, but this book particularly just captures a lot of her struggle to kind of figure out her identity and where she fits in. And especially being in the entertainment industry where there isn't as much representation and what that's like. And so I just find it super insightful. And of course she puts her own comedic, funny twist on everything, but still the material is just so relatable, at least for me. So I've really been enjoying that.
PK:
That's amazing. And how cool would it be if it's also available in audio form and narrated by Mindy herself?
AN:
It actually, there is, there is
PK:
Ah-ha! I'm sure that would take it to a new level…
AN:
Mm-hmmm.
PK: because when I read Trevor Noah's book narrated by him. I was just literally just rolling on the floor laughing with some of the ways he tells his jokes. It's not the same as reading it, you know?
AN:
Yeah, yeah, no, I bet. And I've been getting more into audio books lately just listening to them on a walk and things like that, but yeah, whenever you can get the author to narrate it, I just think it's so much better. So yeah, totally. [laugh] Well, that was fun. I'm glad that we were able to share some stuff there and I definitely will have to check out the two that you're reading. I haven't read those. So just to kick us off and to dive in would you mind just kind of sharing a little bit about yourself and your background?
PK:
Yeah, totally. I grew up in a pretty conservative family in south India. At this point, I've spent about half my life in India and half my life in the US. Family of philosophers, mathematicians, engineers, academic in different dimensions that you can imagine, although conservative and sort of as you and other listeners might know, the Indian culture is pretty conservative overall to begin with. And then there's a lot of very male-centric and, and, you know, men make all the decisions. Women are there to support and such. And I grew up in that environment. That said my parents raised my brother and my sister and I all the same in terms of our foundation on education and the focus upon that. I fell into engineering because that was the thing that was most obvious in the family.
Well, you're good at math. You should go be an engineer. Not really knowing what I was going to do with that. And just as I graduated from engineering school was when the whole business process outsourcing was really taking off in India and I fell into coding and started to become a software engineer, which was great! Learning to solve problems through language that I didn't necessarily learn in school believe it or not. And I came to the US after that. And I've essentially been in tech for about 25 years now doing engineering, engineering, management, product management, et cetera. It's just been a really fascinating journey at some level. I would say I would probably, I still probably trying to figure out what to do with my life. There are a few common themes that come across but I think it’s that combination of what do you love and what are you good at? And then we're all in that pursuit of finding our ideal careers. And I suppose I'm also on my journey.
AN: Yeah, no. Awesome. Well we will definitely be talking a little bit about your career and kind of going in depth there. But I wanted to kind of go back to just your experiences. It sounds like you immigrated here as an adult and I'm curious to know what that was like for you culturally, on a personal level, what that whole experience was like.
PK: Oh, wow. Yes, I immigrated as an adult through an arranged marriage and all that but we'll save that for another conversation.
AN: Mm-Hmm.
PK: Let's see, while I was growing up in my teenage and sort of early twenties years, I did have access to some amount of American television, some amount of American pop music and things like that. And so I had some references for what the American culture might be like. MASH was my favorite show back then. [Laugh] But coming here, I mean, it couldn't have been more shocking. I think the positives were that, while I grew up in a culture that really centered around men making the decisions and my mom, my aunt, my grandma, other all sort of being supportive roles, even though they were whip smart and just as capable. It used to bother me a lot that that was going on at home and that we were not all on the same equal footing, but coming to the US and discovering that yes, there is a pursuit for equality on the gender spectrum.
There is a pursuit for a world where you know, the opportunities can be the same and the outcomes can be completely driven by a person's passion and interest, not so much limitations that are imposed upon them. So that was a positive definitely accent was very thick and sort of just adjusting that and normalizing myself so that I could better fit in business. And I came to the Silicon valley. So if I was not alone in terms of immigrants from particularly Asian countries who had come to the US to sort of build out their tech careers and stuff, so not too abnormal there. I would say that understanding what aspects the Indian culture I wanted to preserve and what aspects of the American culture I wanted to absorb has just been such a fascinating journey.
For example, we'll just take a silly example, there's this notorious thing about Indians not ever showing up on time - parties, dinners, any engagement, you know, it's almost a fashionable thing to be an hour and a half late or 45 minutes late or whatever. I cannot stand that personally. I have actively chosen to adopt showing up on time. Arguably being early where needed, just as a way to really show respect for the forum or the event or whatever it's that I'm going towards. There are aspects of the Hindu philosophy and spirituality and such and which I just completely adore rock and, and it's completely a part of my being, which I've decided to continue to preserve. And I think it's a nice balance of getting to have the best in both worlds. You said shocks, right? Culture shocks. Did you say what was the question?
AN:
Yeah, yeah, just kind of like what that experience was like for you just on a personal level, and if there were any culture shocks for you, but it sounds like you kind of covered some of those. And it's funny, you say being late or the fashionably late and my sister and I don't ever let our parents live it down. I mean, they showed up to [Laugh] my graduation a few minutes late and I still hold that against them. And it wasn't due to… there was actually like a thing. But yeah, I mean, I definitely can relate to some of that and I think that makes sense. Especially, it sounds like you had to kind of figure out where you fit in and almost like figure out what your identity is as an adult. So that's kind of gotta be an interesting experience being exposed to something culturally so different once you're fully in your adulthood and as a professional and things like that.
PK:
Oh, yeah, for sure. I would say some of the hardest things that I've had to work through now in my late forties actually were sewn during those early years when I moved here because I didn't really live alone at any point in time in my life. And I went from sort of being in the care of my parents to you being a married person in a relationship. And being transplanted into this new culture. I started out, like I was saying a little while ago with accents and such, I started out trying to normalize myself so that I would fit better. And I would… I started to sort of suppress aspects of my identity in the process so that I can be mainstream, so to speak. I also came in with this assumption that I'm a woman, I'm an immigrant, I'm not white skinned.
They must know more. So that deep rooted sort of lack of confidence, imposter syndrome, like of those aspects of somehow I am less got instilled pretty early on and it's taken me a lot of time to sort of really search and go, wait, no, that is not what I need to stand for. I do need to speak my truth and be myself and bring my whole self, whatever that is. And that's been an interesting journey. And ideally not seeing the same thing happen with my children is a very positive thing. So I see them bring their full selves, whatever they are. They don't necessarily try and identify the race and gender and sexual orientation and such of the friends that they have. And that's a beautiful thing for me to see because that's not how that's not my experience, you know?
AN:
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And you had mentioned that you grew up watching your grandmother and your mother take on supportive roles, as you put it. And I'm wondering how that shaped you and the changes that you decided to make or not make as an adult, as a result of growing up watching that.
PK:
Oh wow. I feel like we could spend a whole hour just on that question. It's interesting, right? On one hand it used to rally me to no end that my mom, for example, was not a part of financial decisions that were being made around investments or property or, college education and things like that. It used to anger me, but at the same time I myself was, I had deep rooted biases in my head as to what I could and could not participate in by virtue of how deeply ingrained those behaviors were. Even though there was a part of me that was really seeking equality and, sort of route driving toward that. You know, we assume roles in our families too, right? I mean, I have the privilege of being a cisgender person in a very sort of stable, white picket fence, typical sort of American relationship with children and marriage and all of these things, all of theses constructs that we sometimes take for granted.
But even in the context of all of that, you end up falling into specific roles that you're supposed to play as a woman, as a mother, as a wife.
AN: Yeah.
PK: And slowly sort of starting to break those. I always had my career, which was great. For some time it felt like my career was the second career in the family. Not really sort of the lesser career in the family, actively sort of working through some of those aspects, actively having a voice equally, actively having my husband support meal planning and things like that, which is not something that a natural male partner in a relationship tends to bring, at least in my generation, that's the truth. And so starting to level the playing field on that is, I would say it's, it's still very much an ongoing journey.
AN:
Mm-Hmm, mm-hmm, yeah. I hear a lot of women share very similar struggles in that respect. Also you brought up imposter syndrome and having to deal with that as a result of not, it sounds like having as much comp and that's something that I hear so many of my peers talk about, especially women, have you ever found ways to tackle imposter syndrome and give yourself that confidence? And if so, I would love to hear a little bit more about just any suggestions or tips you have around that.
PK:
Well in the spirit of keeping it real, this is week four on my new job here at Tableau, which is a Salesforce company. The imposter syndrome is very real. I have to believe that most people face it and it is something that… I'm sitting here wondering why did all these smart people hire me? What am I even doing here? Like what value can I possibly add to this rather functional and successful organization? So I do think it's important for us to sort of understand and recognize that that is going on. A few things in terms of tips and such that I would say, maybe I'm saying this sort of controversially, but one of the things I would say is that I think the root of import imposter syndrome more often than not, there's a part of it that's founded and there's a part of it that's unfounded.
Not all imposter syndrome is bad, in my opinion. On one hand, I would say that, it's important for you to recognize when you're facing that sweats, the negative spiral in your brain, the I don't belong here, what is going on? Like, I don't deserve this, whatever that may be going on. I think it's important to sort of sit down and examine that and take a look at what aspect of that is founded as in, are you not prepared for that job? Have you not had enough training? Is there something you're going into and you're not quite ready for it? So there is a founded element. Typically, I think we're all intelligent brains. And so it's important for us to recognize the fact that there may be some aspect of it that we're not, that is actually founded.
And if that is the case, then it's important for us to combat that right away. Which leads me to my next step, which is that I think typically if you have imposter syndrome, at least what I've seen with myself is that it actually makes you a more prepared individual. Cause if you believe you don't belong in a certain state, or if that you don't deserve something and you go after getting better prepared for so that you could show up more ready for that particular role, you're actually going to be better off than you were if you were confident in the job. So I think it's actually something that you can turn into a strength because some of the worst moments where I felt like I don't belong in a certain space, it's just made me go to more work.
It's made me go do more preparation, go do more analysis. And when I come back and I ask a question slowly, the way you combat it is actually part of it is being prepared. There's a part of imposter syndrome, in my opinion, that's unfounded, which is, wow, I'm somehow fake here and I don't belong here. I think for that it’s valuable, first of all, again, to recognize it. It's valuable to have some kind of personal affirmations - different people have different sort of meditative techniques where they think about reaffirming the confidence in themselves. I think it helps to have mentors and coaches who can be in your corner to remind you, they did hire you for a reason. They did bring you into this role for a reason. These are the things you've done before, and you kinda have to keep telling yourself that, which is a little silly because our brains again are smart and we are factual, but somehow we go down this irrational path of not really believing like we deserve to be in a certain space.
So having some sort of a support system that helps you combat and walk yourself off the ledge is important. And then finally the other piece, particularly if it's imposter syndrome, as it relates to the workplace, the other piece that I all also found to be valuable is, and I'm using it right now in my 30-60-90 day plan at my new job, is to really have a tight alignment with your manager. Here's what you hired me for, right? Let me understand what my role actually is. Okay. Break it down. What does success in the next 30 days look like? If you align with them and you and they are on the same page, then the likelihood that you're gonna start getting back into the spiral of I don't belong here, I don't know who to do this job, is lower because you now have some tactical things you can work toward And slowly, then you build confidence in the job and the role, and it can get better.
AN:
Those are some really great tips. I'm like taking a lot of mental notes as we're talking. And it sounds like, it's two parts, right? You're saying making sure that you have the right support system and have making sure that you have maybe affirmations and things that you can tell yourself, but also there's like that component of just making sure that you are, if you do feel like not as confident or unsure of what you're getting into, taking that as an opportunity to really prepare and kind of get ready for that next opportunity. So, yeah. I kind of like that breakdown. Totally makes sense. And I guess so switching over a little bit to your professional experience and your career, you said that you started off as an engineer and now you're more on the product side… curious to know how that transition happened and, what the different roles are that you kind of had before you landed at Tableau?
PK:
Yep. Yeah. I started out, like I said, starting to write code and solve build applications and solve problems using software. Started out with C and C++, and then moved on to Java and such. And then over the course of being in the US and being a software engineer for a certain amount of time, went into engineering management as well. I really, really enjoyed the aspects of sitting up late at night trying to figure out why my code wouldn't compile or why I wasn't able to solve the problem the way I thought the code should be solving the problem. I enjoyed applications of the software for solving different workplace related/technology related challenges. And then engineering management was a lot of fun.
In fact, I learned to be a good, I got some good management training, on how to be a good people manager back at Sun Microsystems, which is one of the best companies in terms of creating a healthy workplace culture and providing the emphasis on good people management as a way to really both advocating for the people on your team, as well as getting to great business outcomes for the organization. So while I was enjoying those particular roles, something was still missing because I was building solutions without necessarily knowing who the problems were being faced by. So I kept asking, I kept going upstream in the product development life cycle, if you will, who is this for? Or how will they use it? Why do they want this feature? Why don't they want that thing? What happens if I build this and who are all those people running around in suits anyway?And slowly I had to get exposure and learning of more than just the engineering function inside a corporation.Right?
That's all I knew. At the time my manager’s son said, you know, there's a name for people like you, you're a product manager. My husband was like, what? What's a product manager? It turns out that that core element of what I was asking for, which is who is the customer? What problem are we trying to solve for them? How best do we solve the problem? And then how do we drive business impact? That happens to be the function of product management. And so I went to grad school, got myself an MBA in the evening do not recommend it if you have a child at home and you have a full-time job, Uh-uh, it's not heroism, it's plain stupidity. [laugh] Again, maybe story for another day, but so getting that appreciation of how an overall business works, how strategy is defined, how companies decide what software to build and then how do they go get that built?
How did they define what problems to solve for customers? That transition was really a really fine, great one. And I've been a product management professional, since I would say last 15 - 17 years or so. Along the way, I tried a couple of operations roles as well - product operations, engineering operations, and then also company level operations. Primarily because I am very execution focused at the end of the day, and I like to see it doesn't matter how the individual pieces are working, what matters is how it all connects together, whether we're able to deliver business outcomes. And so I'm super metrics focused as it relates to that. And I think those are some capabilities that are important in an operational role. So I have ended up taking on operational roles because they would sort of come my way. But then I've realized that while that might be a strength, it's not a place that gives me joy. I think coming back and understanding what customer problems are there to be solved. And how do we build a healthy product organization is really my happy place. So yeah, so here we are.
AN:
Awesome. Well it seems like you've dipped your toes in several different things. As you were going through your career I guess like lateral moves, I'm curious to know if you've made any lateral moves and what that was like for you? What the thinking was in terms of doing that? I know some people will kind of have a little bit of a hesitation in doing that just cause it's not necessarily moving upward or getting promotions, but yeah. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on that.
PK:
Yeah, yeah. It was actually that same manager back at Sun. I attribute a lot of good learnings to him, for one of my work anniversary, he gave me a little plaque that said perfection is unattainable. Cause I needed that. [laugh] I’ve come along way since. The other thing as well - another piece of advice that he gave, which I really held onto is that career progression is more like scaling the side of a mountain as opposed to a veneer up into the right type of a progression. And it's I think an important one to keep in mind. So if you use that analogy of climbing the face of a mountain, sometimes there are some really steep sort of climb pieces sections that you end up, you know, climbing and scaling.
Sometimes you make lateral moves and sometimes you kind of go dip downwards a little bit and kind of go flat too before you can again, find that next clip where you can make progress. And I think it's important to remember that somehow if your career progression is not linear, that you're a failure in some way. I think it's important to really root that out from one's mindset and to really see it and truly internalize that it's a journey. It's a journey of your life at some level, right? It's a big chunk of your working waking day as an adult for what, 30, 40 years? It's important to keep in mind that you have to enjoy that journey and the process as well, and be open to discovery of new types of roles. So whenever I've taken a lateral role… I was at one of the companies where I joined to do product management, three weeks in, the person who hired me left because of leadership changes at the top.
And I was well, okay, all dressed up and nowhere to go, what am I gonna do next? And I got a job which was a lateral move into operations. It felt in them a moment that it was going to be a demotion of some kind, but it didn't. And I chose to embrace and work really closely with my manager to define a job description of what is it I'm going to accomplish? What does success look like? What skills and strengths can I leverage from what I have, what are gaps that I have in my experience that I would love to go around out. And so, if you can make it a really methodical exercise, and hopefully I had a very supportive manager helping me through that change. Ideally if you have good support and you can sort of identify again, be very critical and observant of what are the things you're looking to learn and grow with.
What are the things that you feel like you're good at that will give you wins as you get started, the balance is important, right? Otherwise if you're constantly only learning, then you can feel pretty worn out pretty quickly because you don't feel like you're bringing enough value to the table. And the flip side is also risky. So as long as you can look at those opportunities with some openness in terms of what you might learn, as well as what you might bring then I think it can be a lot of fun and getting to the top is not the point, I think. So as long as we look at it as the journey, as opposed to the destination, sorry, it sounds a little tacky to say that.
AN:
No, I mean, it's totally true. And I totally understand what you're saying. I think that's really great advice. I know sometimes making lateral moves or maybe even moving down a little bit to explore something else can feel maybe defeating or you're not progressing, but I think it's so important to hear this throughout your career. I know for me being still early in my career, I wanna make sure that I'm enjoying what you and we spend a lot of time at work. I think it's important to hear that sort of insight.
PK:
Yeah. And just the one thing I'd add is, if you look at my career progression, I didn't take dramatic levels of risk. I mean, sure. I did different things and went to different companies or different verticals or different goals even, but largely I was still in the same larger realm. I know of people who have been much more bold in making career moves, where, you know, someone who was a project manager at a credit card software company for 15 years completely walked away from a perfectly stable job, stock options, salary, and everything to go become a therapist and went to school and made no money. In fact, spent money going to school and earning hundreds of hours of credits because this friend of mine just felt deeply passionately that they had one life to live and they wanted to go do something different. I haven't done anything heroic like that, but I would say that it is important to look at both the whole thing as a journey and a progression, but also that you do have one life to live and you don't get to come back to this point again. So what is the most you can do with it? And of course, what risk taking ability do you have as well as important? Yeah. And then, and then to go after it.
AN:
Yeah, no, that's great advice. And I have to ask too, as a woman and a woman who is of Asian American origin, did you ever feel like whether it was in a professional environment or personally certain expectations of you just based off of these pre notions that people may carry?
PK:
Oh, a hundred percent. Indians are supposed to be good at math. I mean, all Indians are great at math don't you know? [laughs] Kidding.
[All laugh]
Yeah, I mean, to be honest with you, I think that whole model minority myth, which is, Asians getting typecast into a certain set of expectations that they will keep their heads down, they will pay their taxes, they will be model citizens. It was a very deliberate strategy of the US government to attract more immigration from Asian countries as a way to grow and fuel the innovation and the transformation that the United States was going through in the sixties and the seventies. And so it was a very deliberate effort on their part. I gotta say, it was super successful because that perception is believed by many Indians in India. And it was believed by people like me for a very long time, even after coming to this country that somehow I was on a pedestal, that racial inequality issues with black people and Hispanic people were not my problem.
Those are somebody else's problem. AndI'm being raw right now because that's really what I believed even until a few years ago. That it was okay for folks like my husband and I to buy homes in any neighborhood that we wanted, because well we’re Indians, people generally don't have any issues, except for the smell of Curry, which has been brought up from time to time. We are generally acceptable in all parts of society. But to truly understand that any forms of discrimination or racism that I've seen are very, very different and quite honestly much smaller compared to the sort of systemic inequities that we have in the American society. Understanding that I had a part to play and not to just be a dispassionate third party observer, but actually had a part to play, to be an active and have an active opinion, point of view and voice against systemic racism and inequality in the society here is something I ideally needed to come to terms with.
And, and really, it was a humbling experience for me to think through and understand. Yes. So coming back to your, sorry, I digress, coming back to your core question, definitely yes. Did experience those where are you really from? Oh, wow you speak such good English. Some of those Micro discriminatory statements and things being said were my truth. And I used to get frustrated and irritated by them, but I still owned it because I mean, I believed I was somehow special and it was okay for me to be whatever I was. And I did have some pretty hard expectations around academic excellence from my older child. If anything, I have loosened up a lot by the time that my second one's rolled around and he's having a field day! [laughs] Just truly understanding that education of all forms is important and a holistic perspective.
A holistic human perspective is important. Like those are all things that I think the classic model minority myth doesn't necessarily support, but it's something that I'm actively thinking through and figuring out and how to be a better American, how to be a better citizen in society, how to be a better parent. I think all of those things, it's great to sort of pull through the Asian roots, but it's also important to contribute to society in a much more deliberate and intentional manner and not to just stay within my own little Asian bubble if you will.
AN:
Yeah, I'm just really grateful that you're getting raw and sharing that. I think that the model minority myth can sometimes be a little uncomfortable to talk about and especially kind of dissect and go into, but I appreciate you really delving into that and kind of sharing your experiences there.
PK:
Yeah. And I won't profess to be an expert on it. I think different Asian cultures experience it in different levels and different ways. I really purely speaking only from my own experience.
AN:
Yeah, of course. I think that's totally understandable. I think that everyone has their own lived experiences and I just appreciate you sharing yours. What a conversation for a Friday afternoon, this is [laugh] this is amazing. Thank you. And I guess as we kind of come close to the end of this segment I feel like I could ask you a ton of other questions, but I'll kind of try to wrap it up here slowly. Do you have some advice or like a call to action for our listeners to take away from this conversation?
PK:
Oh, wow. I think a good chunk of it might be just based off of things that I did and learned the hard way that I would hope for others to not have to have the same difficulty getting to the same conclusions. Sort of relating to my point earlier about… actually I’ll make two points I think, the first one related to the stuff around lack of confidence and imposter syndrome and such. I think at the end of the day, at some point in the future, a hundred years from now maybe [laugh] I hope that we will live in a world where resources are the same for everyone and access is available to everybody and you truly get to be your best self and bring your best self and live the best possible life that you can live.
In the meantime, while inequities exist around all of us - do the work, right? Look at yourself in terms of what capabilities you have, what interests you have - do the work. I think there is no substitute for hard work at the end of the day. And it's just something that, it's probably something as an Indian I've carried through. But it's also something that I truly believe that there is no substitute for hard work. And so as long as you can live up to your best potential by exploring the resources that are available to you, by not giving up, by really realizing your own potential, I think don't leave anything to circumstance as much as you can. And just do your best with what you have and don't stop. Yes, excuses exist.
Yes. Issues exist, challenges exist, but do the very best you can. I think that's important to pull through particularly in this day and age where we're grappling with so many issues out there. I think trying to stick with what you can control and doing the best with what you have in that moment. Which is why I like that book Atomic Habits. It talks about making miniscule changes and making lasting improvements in your life. Based off of really, really small, small changes, which any one of us with ability can take on. And I think the second piece, again, also building off of my own experience, I would say that I tried to suppress many aspects of who I am in an effort to fit in.
Sure it helps to soften your accent when you come from India so that you are better understood by other people. It's a good thing to do in the professional workplace. But I actively sort of put myself down in a lot of opportunities or try to hide different aspects of who I am in an effort to blend in and fit in. And I really wish I didn't do that. In fact, I did that even in front of my children as they were growing up so that I would better fit in with their friends, their friends' parents. I strongly hope that folks who are listening can take away this particular message around.. I just.. I wish I didn't do that. That's all I can say. Had I owned who I was in every aspect of my being. And I brought that to whatever I was with pride.
Whenever I see people do that today it makes me so happy. And I see my children also do that. It makes me happy. So anyway, I would say that's a hard learned lesson that I wish I can share with others. You are who you are and you didn't make the choices to be exactly how you have turned out having some pride and love for yourself and who you are and what you bring is I think… why not?
AN:
Yeah. And why not? That is really, really powerful. It's a powerful takeaway. I think both of the things that you listed and especially going into the weekend, I know I'll be thinking about that. And I do think it's important for people to not feel like they need to hide aspects of themselves, and I can totally relate having done that in multiple situations myself. So yeah, I really appreciate all of the wisdom and just for being here and sharing about your journey and all the different things that you've experienced. I think it's great for… I'm sure all our listeners are gonna really appreciate listening in and tuning into this episode. So thanks so much, Padmashree.
PK:
Totally. Thank you. And I have to say, you're so creative and so brilliant at pulling together how you prepared for us to have this conversation and how you facilitated this conversation and made it a discussion. You bring some real creativity to this process. And I think you will do an excellent job with every guest that you have on your podcast, because you have a very unique ability. So thank you for having me and for such a fun conversation.
AN:
Yeah. I mean, thank you so much. That means a lot. I've just started, [laugh] doing the podcast stuff like about a year ago, and I love bringing our guests on and being able to share their stories. So happy that you had a good experience. And I also just wanna take a minute to shout out our incredible podcast team, your dedication makes it possible to all of these amazing stories and to be able to continue doing this. And of course to our listeners thank you as always for tuning in we'll definitely catch you on the next episode.
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