Dear Witty: Panicked in the Workplace
Dear Witty,
I want to talk about periods – more specifically PMS, but in my case PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). Once a month I slide into a dark place in my head. I have a very hard time dealing with my mindset during this time, which makes me doubt my abilities. It's hard to concentrate and I tend to be very quiet/distant from coworkers.
Has anyone figured out how to cope with their PMS/PMDD at work? How do you deal when things get overwhelming? How can I disclose to my boss, who is a guy, that my hormones affect me to the point of interfering with my workflow? Would any guy even believe me?*
-Overwhelmed
*This question has been slightly modified to apply more generally.
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Dear Overwhelmed,
This is a really tough spot to be in and you are not alone. According to the Mayo Clinic, roughly 75% of menstruating people experience some form of premenstrual syndrome. For those unfamiliar with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) -- it is often debilitating, causing not only physical discomfort but great emotional distress including depression, rage, and suicidal ideation. It is a step beyond the “standard” PMS (premenstrual syndrome) -- which typically consists of any number of symptoms including nausea, bloating, fatigue, and painful abdominal cramps to digestive and emotional discomfort. PMDD can impact vision, sleep, concentration, appetite, and even the ability to stand.
To manage your PMDD symptoms, Mind recommends peer support, planning around your PMS/PMDD (if it can be tracked), managing mental and physical wellbeing, and/or contacting a specialist organization. We recommend doing some research, visiting your physician (a walk-in clinic will do, too), and contacting your Human Resources Department at work to discuss your options. Fortunately, PMDD is now more widely known and actually considered a disability. You may be entitled to leave under FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act).
In order to access leave or ask for reasonable accommodation under the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act), you have to disclose your need for accommodation to your supervisor. Though it might feel uncomfortable disclosing to a man (or anyone for that matter), he/they might know someone who also suffers from PMS or PMDD. Though he/they might not know how you feel, they may know or care for someone who suffers from PMS/PMDD as well.
If you’d like assistance advocating for yourself, try opening up to a trusted friend or colleague about your situation. Perhaps they’ve dealt with something similar or would be willing to help you prepare what you’re going to say and when you’re going to say it. Check out this toolkit from the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD). --It contains a wealth of resources available for those seeking help with PMDD. Your physician might have some pointers as well.
Advocating for accommodation may seem daunting. Hopefully your bravery will help you as well as future folks who seek support in the workplace for a disorder that impacts the physical and mental well being of so many. Others suffering from PMS/PMDD could find comfort in knowing you acknowledge this as a significant problem and they, too, might feel compelled to reach out for help in the workplace and other areas of their lives.
We are here for you, we see you, and we support you; thank you for trusting us with your question. We hope that you (and others in your situation) take advantage of the community support and workplace benefits that put your health and self-care first.
In solidarity,
WITTY
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